My first introduction to Wicca came in 1995 at a library in Stone Mountain, Georgia.
At the time, my husband had a job which had him out of the house (and town) Monday through Friday. Our two daughters were under the age of five, we had one car which Thom had to drive for work, and we were new to the city.
We didn't know anyone.
Sure, we were going to a church every Sunday but I had a difficult time connecting with people there. We struggled a bit financially. We struggled a bit relationally. As a result I became very lonely, depressed, and angry at God. I felt as if I'd been abandoned by my Father. No matter how much I prayed, read my bible, and tried to be a good Christian nothing seemed to work.
We lived in an apartment not far from the public library. So, once a week I would pack my children into a double stroller and walk about a half mile so the kid's could enjoy a story hour (which always seemed to be ready to start when we walked in the door) and I could browse the stacks. Most of the time I wandered into the religion section. A serious questioning of faith led me to read books on all kinds of beliefs.
This is where I found my first book on goddess magick.
Allow me to back up. If you have read my testimony then you know I gave my life to Christ as a six year old. But being a spiritually sensitive child I experienced a lot of spiritual or "paranormal happenenings." So, even though I went to church every Sunday with my family and loved God with all my heart, I also had an intense curiosity in ghosts, psychics, various forms of divination, etc. This interest never waned even after I devoted myself to studying God's word, serving Him, as a teenager and then adult.
Therefore, when I began having serious doubts about Christianity finding a book about goddess magick poked at that life-long attraction to the occult. When I read the book it seemed like I'd found my answer. Confessing this to my husband didn't go over well so it would be another four years before I took the plunge into studying Wicca. Over the next eight years I moved from Wicca into practicing traditional and then into Christian witchcraft, divination, psychic development, and eventually spirit communication as a medium. Ghost hunting also became a big part of my life.
But it all started with Wicca (earth-based pagan religion) and goddess worship.
When I talk about my former goddess worship I do not mean I simply bowed down to idols. I did have altars. I did have goddess statues made of stone and wood (lifeless and powerless though they may be) as representations of very real spiritual beings. Powers, principalities, and familiar spirits who interacted with me when I sought them through forms of Eastern meditation, ritual, divination, and spell-craft. These goddesses were just as real as the five spirit guides who later worked with me while a medium (one of whom claimed to be Michael, the Arcangel), as well as the "ghosts" who presented themselves during my readings.
Here's the thing.
All of the goddesses (including the one who "appeared" to me with great anger when I gave up worshipping her after three years), spirit guides, and other "angels of light" were deceptive spirits in masquerade.
Why? To what end would these spirit beings lie to and decieve me? They wanted to keep me from God's revealed truth, grace, and mercy.
These spirit beings wanted to keep me from the freedom which is only available through a relationship with God in Jesus Christ.The God who's first command (in the ten commandments) is "You must not have any other god but me." while the seccond command is “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea."
And rightly so. He is the Creator.
Yes. Wicca seemed good to me. Goddess worship felt right for awhile. Traditional and Christian witchcraft appeared to have the answers to my spiritual questions. Spirit communication and divination became a part of everyday life which seemed to be of "god". I wanted to hear from these spirits and received lots of good feelings and experiences. Never mind the harrassing physical manifestations which plagued my person and home. That was "normal" because I was a medium and ghost hunter. And these spirit beings expected my devotion.They wanted me to seek their "wisdom" and in return they empowered me.
The problem is everything they offered stemmed from lies.
Ultimately all that these goddesses, spirit guides, and other "angels of light" could provide (all they can offer anyone) is spiritual destruction. Thank God for the truth which has set me free. Read these words spoken by Jesus:
“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!" Matthew 6:22-23 NLT
Yes. All of the goddesses I worshipped, the spirit guides I sought, the "ghosts" with whom I communicated were nothing but darkness pretending to be light. Jesus Christ is the light. He is the way, the truth, and the life.
"And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved."