There was a time in my life I would have called myself a "football widow".

The woman who's husband parked himself in front of the television to watch football. It didn't matter what kind it was. 

Professional.

College.

There were even a few local football games thrown in there back in the day.

And I would sit there with my book, or the baby on my lap, or try my hand at crochet as my husband hollered expletives over bad calls.

Well—that's how I remember it anyway.

The truth is my husband tried to engage me, help me understand the game.  He would ask me to watch the replay of a particularly good catch. Try to explain what the various calls on the plays were, why he considered them good or bad. He would expound on the various strengths or weaknesses of individual players (and yes he knew them).

Why? Because football was (and still is) something my husband enjoys. He played football throughout his years in school. He still enjoys throwing a football with friends. There was a time in his life he had the potential for college scholarships (with the typical NFL dreams) until an injury sidelined that goal. So watching football on TV has always been special to him.

The problem is I didn't recognize he was trying to share something special with me. A part of his(past) life which was (is) incredibly important. All I saw was a boring game, heard him yelling, and wondered which of my favorite television programs I was missing.

Basically, I was being selfish.

The silly thing is I used to enjoy going to football games in High School. I went to a few professional football games as well. It was fun. Yet I had convinced myself that I hated watching football on television. I was annoyed by my husband's fondness for it.

And eventually he gave up trying to draw me into his passion. Stopped watching football all together because I didn't like it.

Did. Not. Watch. Football. For. Years!

He even watched The Sound of Music with me instead of the Super Bowl.

THE SUPER BOWL!

It wasn't until we reunited in 2006 I had an inkling of what I'd done. In fact, when the light bulb went off in my brain I was ashamed. I was always asking my husband to try (or endure) activities I enjoy while never reciprocating.

So a few years ago when my husband was flipping through TV channels, happening upon a college football game, I sat down and watched it with him. I asked questions. I paid attention to the action on the screen. I got up at one point and made snacks for us to enjoy while we watched the game. The look on my husband's face went from guarded interest at the beginning of the game to unadulterated happiness by the end. 

The next weekend we watched another game, and the one after that. We moved from college football to the NFL, cheering on our home teams (Washington Redskins, Detroit Lions), adopting a few others. Over time I learned how to spot when the defense jumps "off-sides", the meaning of an "on-side kick", and what it means to "drop back and punt". I fuss at bad calls, point out great catches to my husband, and can hold a reasonably intelligent conversation about the game.

It's awesome! 

What I've learned from this experience is this. My husband and I are walking through this marriage together. It's important to be willing to learn what our spouse enjoys (sports, dance, games, hobbies, interests). If we are willing, these activities can be jumping off points of relationship building moments. Sure, there will be interests a husband and wife simply don't share, but the least we can do is be willing to try before we dismiss our spouse's passions or interests altogether.

And for all those wives out there who (as I once did) consider themselves "football widows"—take heart—football season comes but once a year.